I've determined...

that thinking is a bad thing.

When I think, the thoughts that come to mind are thoughts of how I will never be enough. Thoughts of if I could just do a little more maybe that would be enough. Thoughts of how much of a problem I'm sure I am to everyone around me. I feel I always should apologize for everything I do. If I say more than two sentences at a time in conversation, I feel as though I've said too much and should let someone else share their thoughts because mine are incompetent and don't matter. I feel like a complete waste of space.

What's worse, every time I open myself up to anyone, could be a friend, my boyfriend, or even my own family, it makes me feel like an even bigger burden. I only get about 5% good and happy feelings about all the relationships I have with people and the rest are about how I've probably done something or might do something to upset them. It only causes anxiety and worry to me about constantly trying to make them happy. I feel myself sinking farther while there is seemingly no way out. My thoughts are anxious and depressed.

I didn't ask for this, and I don't think it's normal.

Just to make it clear, this isn't to produce pity from whoever is reading. Sometimes things get to be too much, and they have to come out.